Damian Wayne's Many Faults of the World
by Traveller'sSuitcase
Summary: A series of one-shots set around Damian Wayne (and of course Titus) as he discovers the main annoyances in the world. The Eighth Fault- Todd and Other Embarressements.
1. Nettles

The First Fault- Nettles

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

This is my first entry in a series of one-shots I will be doing alongside my main story whilst I wait for feedback on that story. Although I may update this after less interest than with my other story, I really appreciate all support, and would love to hear what you all think of it.

Anyway, this chapter is something I wrote quite a while ago which I have recently edited to improve. This is what made me decide to do one-shots with other faults, so if you have any ideas for faults you would like me to do in following chapters feel free to leave a suggestion inside a review.

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Long legs began to gallop, barely touching the ground before they were sweeping through the air again as he chased after the target. Titus may have lacked 'killer instinct', but something about a stuffed squirrel sent him wild, and right now he was chasing, as Grayson had called it, 'Eyeless' across the garden. It was not hard to see where the name came from; after a matter of hours Titus has removed the plastic orbs from his toy, also making light-work of the once fluffy tail that was now a hairless mound of draping cotton.

With a soft bump, Eyeless fell into the bush, making Damian wish he had not thrown it quite so hard, since he knew the hound would never go in and get it himself. And so, the barking began; a loud, fierce sound that sent a child on the other side of the road into a sprint, causing him to stop paying attention to what was before him and run straight into a lamppost.

"Fool." Damian muttered, approaching Titus, who was now sitting down at the hope of proving he was good enough for the toy to be returned. The bush it was in was made from slightly hairy green leaves, appearing in sets of four that covered the squirrel that lay beneath. Seeing the stuffed animal, Damian thrust his hand into the bush, pulling out the sorry looking stuffed figure before throwing into an awaiting Titus' mouth. And that was when it began.

A slight uncomfortable itch was the first feeling on his left arm, followed by a matching feeling on the right. Damian ignored the feeling, not wanting to stand there scratching himself like idiot, and instead signalling for Titus to follow him. But then, the itch became a sting. A sting that ran back and forth along with arm causing him to clasp his hand over it in some feeble attempt to make the pain stop. What was this? Some kind of poison?

Damian broke into a run back to Wayne manor, having to step carefully to avoid an overenthusiastic Titus who seemed to assume that this was part of some kind of game, and therefore dived in front of Damian at any opportunity.

Finally, they were back. Damian burst open the doors, running towards the sink and pulling back his sleeves so he could use the cool water to sooth his aching arms. They were now completely red, the colour only breaking for small white bumps in his skin that made it appear as if beneath the skin was bubbling, which was exactly what it felt like.

"Master Damian?" Damian allowed a glance over his shoulder to see Pennyworth standing in the doorway, polishing cloth in hand.

"I have been poisoned." He told him matter-of-factly, removing his arms from the water for a moment to show them to the butler. "I put my arms in some kind of bush and it did this to me."

Damian watched as Pennyworth struggled to control the edges of his lips, which were barely stopping a smile from forming. What was wrong with this man? Damian could be seriously injured and he was acting like it was something to be happy about. He defiantly had some kind of death wish.

"I do not believe you have been, Master Damian. You have merely been stung by nettles."

"Merely?! I-" Damian paused, processing Pennyworth's explanation before looking back to his arms and the task at hand.

"How does this go away then?"

"I believe washing your arms was a good start. As for the irritation, I will fetch some aloe vera to provide you with some relief."

* * *

Outstretched arms, covered in green gel, were being glared at by their owner. He never should have taken Pennyworth's advice, this stuff gave hardly any relief at all, being more of an annoyance to stop them touching anything than a help. This was all Titus' fault, and talking of the hound, the taps from his claws against the wooden floor could be heard as he approached the living room, landing on the floor with a thud. Damian turned his head the other way, refusing to give any attention to the stupid thing, which was met with a small whimper.

"Oh, don't be such a-" Damian did not manage to finish Titus' telling off, as he caught glimpse of the Great Dane, or more importantly his tongue. White spots against a red background, with Eyeless and the nettle in its fluff dumped by his feet.

"Pennyworth!"

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Well, here is the entry. As I mentioned early this story is only for a bit of fun, but I would still like to know if you enjoyed it and maybe some ways to improve this which can also help me in other stories, so if you do have time please leave a review.

Bye for now,

Traveller's Suitcase


	2. Daytime Television

The Second Fault- Daytime Television

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

I would just like to start by thanking the two people who have added this story to their favourites and have chosen to follow it, I really appreciate the support. If anyone has any comments about this chapter, feel free to leave a review.

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Boredom is irritating. Not as irritating as nettles, but still very irritating. The worst thing about being bored is that you begin to realise the stupidity of those around you when they try to invent an idea to solve the feeling.

"You could watch TV." And Grayson was defiantly brainless. Damian hated the box, with every single thing that popped on it being nonsense that seemed to have the ability to remove all thoughts from your head leaving you drooling like Grayson in his sleep.

"Why on Earth would I ever want to do that?" A shrug as Grayson began to skim the channels, switching so quickly that Damian doubted he even knew what was on, but he did seem to find one he liked as he finally dropped the remote beside him.

"You might like this." Grayson informed him, patting the empty space beside him on the sofa to signal for Damian to sit down, although as always Titus was first to take the offer of a place to sit down.

"I hope you are as quick in my grave." Damian muttered, slumping himself into the armchair beside them, but keeping his arms crossed against his chest and a frown on his face to show he still did not want to be there.

"Shh." Damian's head gave a sharp twist as he opened his mouth in preparation for a speech of how Grayson would never be able to tell him what to do, but was stopped by a sudden smash of sound as some kind of tune began to play and some half-dead looking old man stepped into the view of the camera. The man gave a bow and a wave to the audience, before signalling to a market behind him.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another episode of Market Deals. I'm your host, John Callaway, and today I will be showing you how to find a fortune hidden in a market near you. Now, if you will come and look…"

* * *

Alfred Pennyworth rubbed his hand gently against the duvet to remove the final crease on Damian's freshly changed bed. Talking of the boy, it was probably time he checked on him, as well as Dick. The pair had been silent for the entirety of the day, leaving Alfred to clean the upper floors without any hassle, meaning something defiantly had to be wrong.

"Master Dick, Master Damian." He called, as he began to make his way down the staircase, nose wrinkling in disgust as he noted the specks of dusts littering the corners of the stairs. He really must get this cleaned tomorrow.

"Shh!" The sound came from one of the sitting rooms, which happened to be the only room with any sign of a light present. Alfred trotted over, pulling back the door to find both Damian and Dick staring deeply in the television, which was the only source of light in the room. Shaking his head, Alfred flicked the switch to the electronic lights on the wall, giving a brightness that made the pair narrow their eyes.

"Watching the television with no lights on could hurt your eyes." He warned as his mental clock reminded him it was time to start dinner.

"Sorry Alf, we began to watch Market Deals when I remembered I had the whole of the last series recorded so we had to watch them all." Dick told him, stretching out his arms before reaching for the remote to switch the images off the screen.

"You love it, don't you Dami?" The change in Damian's face was almost instant, hardening over from the previously content look as he leaped to his feet.

"Of course not, that was complete and utter nonsense. I would not have watched more than a moment if I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"Of course." A grin appeared on Dick's face, as he too got to his feet, Alfred noticing the impression he had left behind on the seat. "Tim always hated it though, can't wait to tell him I have found a TV buddy."

"You tell a single lie, Grayson and I will behead you in your sleep!" A pillow was thrown, followed by another. Back and forth, a new war erupted that would have be cleaned after dinner.

A shake of the head, and Alfred was out of the room, the thought reminding him that he was several minutes behind schedule. Maybe they should have pasta tonight…

* * *

Ok, so this may not be a real fault, but as long as Damian is still insisting it is, it is going up.

Thank you so much for reading. Now, if anyone reading this is a fan of my other story, I will be updating that after I have received a review for the second chapter, so hopefully that will be coming soon. Adios.


	3. Toasters

The Third Fault- Toasters

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

Wow, I am so surprised by the popularity of this story. Thank you to all the people that have followed the story, added it as a favourite or sent a review. I am not longer seeing it as a side story, but will still be adding new chapters as soon as I have finished writing them, which should be about one a day. As for my other story, I will add a new chapter around once a week.

So, I hope you enjoy the chapter and remember that if you have any ideas for faults you can leave them in a review. Thanks

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Damian began to realise he knew the true origin of the song 'London Bridge is Falling Down'. It would have been made by a family like his, on a day like this, with a complete over-reaction like this. Alfred was gone for the week, taking a trip back to England, which had not seemed like something to even notice to Daman, but of course Dick had to make out it was the end of the world. With the house empty but the pair of them and Titus for the morning, they would be left with the task of making their own breakfasts, something which only a fool could get wrong.

"Fetch me some bread, Grayson." Damian commanded, realising he had no idea which of the many cupboards held what. In fact, he had no idea why there were even that many, did they really eat that much?

"Do you even know how to use a toaster?" Grayson dared to ask, as he reached to one of the top cupboards to pull out a ceramic dish with a loaf and bread knife on top.

"Not everyone is an imbecile like you, Grayson." Damian snapped, yanking the plate out of the man's grasp and placing it on the counter with one hand as he grabbed the knife with the other to begin to cut himself off a slice.

"Ok, I'll go plug the spare one in." Pennyworth had always had some strange belief that if you physically cooked the bread instead of making your life much easier and using a toaster, it tasted better. For Damian now, it really did not matter, as his stomach gave a rumble for anything at all.

"There you go. I'm off for a shower." Grayson tapped the machine before heading out of the room, shouting over his shoulder about calling for help if it was needed.

"TT, who could need help with anything like this." Damian muttered, approaching the metal container with his bread. Another metal box. Defiantly not something to trust. Still, Damian began to examine the machine, trying to discover its secret of being able to crisp over the bread. The first things he noticed were the holes at the top of the toaster and, finding no holes anywhere else, he deduced this must be where you place the bread. But why was it sticking out? With the bread inserted, half of it still hung out of the top which made it seem impossible for the machine to warm it. Maybe it does one half at a time. Yes, that must be it. So, now all that was left was turning it on.

Easier said than done. Ten minutes of searching the machine had only resulted in finding one knob, but not a single on/off switch. Deciding his one find may be his only hope, Damian began to investigate the discovery. At the centre of it, one thick strip stuck out with a little black arrow at one end that was currently pointing at a '0' which lead into a selection of other numbers running around the edge of the strip. Maybe this set the temperature. Damian grinned at his intelligence as he grabbed the strip and pulled it to the top number. That was completely easy, how could anyone need help learning how to use that? Now all that was left was waiting for this to cook.

* * *

Dick wrapped the towel across his head to cover the last wet part of his body as he began to head back to the kitchen to see Damian's progress. Upon entering the bathroom, Dick had received a phone call from Alfred, which alone had taken up half an hour, not to mention the time consuming bath he had chosen instead of a shower to follow. During this time, he had come to notice that the creaky kitchen door had not opened once, and who takes an hour to eat toast?

Putting it down to the fact that Damian often took his time in meals, Dick was defiantly surprised by what waited for him in the kitchen. At least ten loaves worth of burnt toast were in a crumpling mound, almost completely hiding the boy that stood behind them. Dick moved his position to see Damian glaring as the toaster with a determined look of his face as its timer ticked near the end. One half of the toast was sticking out the top, slightly overdone, which finally gave the realisation.

"You have no idea how to use that, do you?"

"Silence, Grayson, I am concentrating." Ding. Damian snatched the toast with a speed that Flash would envy and began to spin it around between two of his fingers.

"Slightly overdone…edible…I have done it!" The mumbling burst into a shout as he pushed the crisped bread into Dick's face.

"And you thought I couldn't do it. You should apologise."

"Apologise? You burnt ten loaves in the process!"

"I'll have you know-" As Damian spoke his arm spun, causing his elbow to whack against the table and his hand to drop the toast. A hand swooped to catch it, but a mouth beat it to it, as Titus began happily chewing on his prize.

"You. Stupid. Animal." Damian spoke through gritted teeth, as his hands became fists and his look became a glare.

"When I am through with you-" Threats were fired as a chase began along the table and out the door, as the boy chased the dog through the manor, leaving Dick with one question on his mind. Why on Earth did they have ten loaves in the cupboards?

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I hope everyone enjoyed this, if not please let me know what you would like me to do to improve. I appreciate the support, and hope to hear from you all soon.


	4. Drake and Other Parasites

The Fourth Fault- Drake and Other Parasites

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

Finally I have got my first suggestion from READINGhearts17, which was to include Jason or Tim in a chapter. I decided to use Tim, as he is a major fault for Damian that we have to address, but Jason will feature in later chapters.

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Even before Pennyworth had left there were certain jobs that members of the house still had the responsibility of doing, most of which revolving around Titus. Damian would bathe, brush, feed and walk the dog, whilst Grayson had the job of applying any protection Titus needed. Who decided it was such a great idea to give Grayson such an important job, Damian would never know.

Damian had been woken in the early morning by the sound of Titus' nametag tapping vigorously against the collar, signalling that the dog was scratching himself. It was not unusual for the dog to get itchy in the summer, as a lot of bugs would try to land on him or some of the braver ones would even try to make a home on Eyeless, but the dog just would not stop. Ding ding ding ding ding. The scratching continued and Damian was no longer able to block the sound out as he finally sat up to take a look at the dog. Titus looked fine, lying in a ball at the end of the bed with Eyeless in between his arms. The only problem was the scratching, which probably meant it was bath time.

Deciding if he was awake, then someone would have to join him, Damian headed towards Grayson's room which did actually lead into a bathroom, ignoring the fact that Damian had one too.

"Grayson." Damian gave the door a kick to push it open, only to welcome him into an empty room. Usually being an early riser, just not this early, Damian was use to finding a sleeping Grayson to wake, never had he been up this early.

"He must have been unable to sleep." He informed Titus, who had already chosen to make himself at home in Grayson's room, diving on his bed and army-crawling under the sheets. "Come on, Titus, we need to check the kitchen." The dog was told, although no words needed to be said, as after a short scratch Titus was back at his owner's side. Since the first day that Titus had been brought here he had attached himself to Damian, following him up, down and around, only leaving the boy's side when he went a place he could not follow. Damian insisted it annoyed him, although he still checked before turning a corner if his second shadow was still beside him.

"Gray-" Damian paused midway between the call, as the sound of voices entered his ears. Talking, laughing. Who would Grayson have around this early in the morning, and why had he not noticed them entering? Deciding to focus on his hearing abilities at a later date, Damian silently began to make his way down the stairs, being grateful that Titus was following each step perfectly instead of moving onto the more creaky parts of the stairs.

"-he thought he had been poisoned." Grayson spoke through laughter, which was met by an oddly familiar laugh back.

"The things I've missed after a week away." Drake. What was Drake doing here? He was gone, away, never to return, but now he was in Damian's kitchen, sitting on Damian's chair, laughing with Damian's brother, but he was not welcome in Damian's home.

"What are you doing?" Within moments Damian was in the doorway, voice as cold as ice and glaring in Drake's direction.

"Oh, Tim's here." Grayson almost sounded surprised, as if he believed he was talking to himself for the entire time, no doubt trying to make himself look more innocent in the betrayal.

"I will deal with you later, Grayson. For now, Drake, you need to leave. We are in the middle of a family crisis and since you are not family you may leave through the front door." One of Drake's eyebrows rose as if he was amused, a smile even breaking onto his face. It left Damian wondering if a punch to it would be an improvement.

"Family crisis?"

"Not involving you." Damian reminded him, before leaving the kitchen to head to the coat rack, easily finding Drake's flimsy, cheap, ugly thing, which coincidently carried all the same qualities as its owner.

"What's wrong, Dami?" Grayson's voice his time. He was probably trying to distract him into talking about something else so he could smuggle Drake into a laundry basket to move him back into his old room which still lingering with that disgusting scent every time you walked by. Now the kitchen would probably smell so bad he would be put off his food for months.

"I will tell you later." Damian grabbed the coat between one finger and thumb, holding it out at arm's length before throwing it to its owner. You could probably catch a disease from that thing just like-…Titus. Drake must have brought the fleas to Titus!

"You." It came out with a growl as a new anger began to burn, Damian taking steps towards Drake. "You gave Titus fleas!"

"Fleas? Titus has fleas?" Grayson sounded as it Damian had just told him a lion was running loose around the house, though that probably would have frightened him less.

"He has been scratching all morning, ever since Drake came."

"The dog was in bed with you, sleeping beauty. Do you really think if I did have fleas they could have ran up the stairs in enough numbers to make your dog scratch when I'm down here?"

"Fleas." Grayson really seemed to be missing the point, as a horrified look was maintained on his face. "Don't you both see what these means? Alfred is going to kill me." A bang and Grayson's head had landed on the table, causing Titus to give out a single bark and begin to run around the kitchen, searching for an intruder.

"This is going to be like the time I made mud-pie on the dining table." The mumble came from an obviously feeling-sorry-for-himself Grayson.

"This is your fault too Grayson, you let him in my home." A groan from Drake as he twisted himself towards Damian.

"I don't have fleas!"

"Of course you do, you are filthy."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No I'm-"

"Guys!" Grayson broke the argument, before walking over to Titus, who was lying against the radiator to get the best of the heat. "He isn't scratching."

For a moment, everyone was silent, staring at the dog as they waited to see if he made a move. Titus looked from Grayson, to Damian, to Drake and back again, tail happily wagging as he waited for one of the watchers to give him a cuddle.

"Well, it could have possibly been a bug that Drake brought."

* * *

Wow, for a moment back that I felt like I was writing about someone walking in on an affair.

So, this was my first story off a suggestion, so if you could leave a review to let me know if you still liked this I would really appreciate it.

Remember, I still take suggestions, if you have one leave it in a review.


	5. Cobbles

The Fifth Fault- Cobbles

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

I have to apologise for falling off the face of the earth; I've had major writer's block. Anyway, I have returned so without further ado, here is the next chapter.

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'Late' was a common word when Grayson was put in charge of timekeeping. It had set Drake in a mood complaining that they did everything in slow motion, but really the need to move seemed to slip from them every time there was an hour left. Damian could find many pointless things to occupy this time, such as putting away his socks in perfect pairs and rearranging the spices into alphabetical order. Meanwhile, Grayson would watch Market Deals, look for his shoes only to find something else he wanted and call a few people just to ask about their week. The system worked fine for both Grayson and Damian, who really did not mind wasting time, but Drake was a different story.

"You can't just tell people we will be there at one and arrive at three." There he was, complaining again about the feelings of some snobbish fools who would more than once not show up at all when invited to Wayne manor.

"Ever heard of fashionably late?" Grayson was in the middle of eating some kind of chocolate bar, watching TV and trying to put a shoe on at the same time and failing miserably.

"I'm just going to go ahead; I'll tell them you were both at the Dentist." Damian watched through the mirror as Drake left through the front door, as looking at him directly might give him the wrong idea that he was something worth looking at.

"We should just not go." Damian tried, not wanting to waste his afternoon with a set of half dead people who talked to their cats more than they did to each other.

"We have to go." Finally managing to get the shoe on, Grayson switched off the TV and tossed his wrapper in the bin as he got to his feet.

"We can take the long way." He offered, but Damian was not about to sell himself short. He chose not to reply to him, instead looking over to Titus who had his head in the bin probably digging for the wrapper so he could lick off any remainder of chocolate which may have melted onto the side.

"Ok, the long way, Titus can come and I'll buy you dinner of your choice." Grayson was at his side now, hand held out with the hope to seal the deal. Damian paused for a moment, thinking, before getting to his feet and ignoring the hand.

"At least we can leave Drake to do all the talking." That daft smile on Grayson's face made Damian regret ever taking up the offer, but before he could change his mind Grayson had their coats in his arm and Titus' lead attached to his collar.

"Let's get going then."

* * *

The 'long way' consisted of the kind of roads where you would expect that if you parked over a man would climb into your boot and wait for the opportunity to shoot you through the head, needless to say the car doors were kept locked. Of course, Damian was not scared; it was Grayson that was the chicken.

"Are we almost there?"

"Yep, just down this next road." The next road was better in the sense that some light was getting through and it was less starved of life, with the odd person crossing the street.

"Next turn and we're there." Grayson told him, as the car twisted through said turn. And that was when it began.

All of a sudden, the car began to shake, rumbling back and forth with a force that caused Titus to go sliding across the back seats and onto the floor of the car. Bang, bang, bang, the tyres collided with something beneath them to create a mass of sound that added to the horror of the experience. The banging and bumping continued until the car came to a stop, leaving a shocked Damian staring at Grayson as he waited for an explanation.

"What?" Grayson asked, sounding as dumb as ever.

"What on earth was that...that…that thing?!" Grayson looked around, acting as if the whole experience had never happened. "The banging!" There was that smile again, that stupid ignorant smile. A traumatic experience had taken place and all Grayson could do was smile.

"The car went over cobbles." After that, a laughter erupted, leaving Grayson bent double and Damian growing angrier. Cobbles, of course he knew what they were, but surely…

Damian shoved open the door, stepping onto the street and noticing the dents between each cobble, dents that cause rocking, and banging.

"I knew that, I was just testing you!" Grayson continued laughing as if he had not listened, but suddenly it came to a stop. A silence. Damian took a few steps back to allow himself to see inside the car, only to be greeted by the sight of a vomit covered Grayson, with some of the vomit on the lips of the Great Dane behind him.

"I hope you have learnt your lesson, Grayson, you should never insult someone smarter than yourself. Now, if you'll excuse me I need to inform Drake of his new weekend job." Damian shut the car door, leaving the shocked man and dog inside before heading towards the front door were an ancient man was waiting.

"I suggest you change your roads, at your age one trip over there will kill you."

"Go away!" Grayson's voice stopped the man from answering, as he rolled out of the car with Titus following, falling onto the road, a thump sounding as he body hit the ground.

"I did tell you it was dangerous."

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed this, if you have the time leave a review to let me know what you thought or leave a suggestion.

Also, I would like to thank READINGhearts17 for their continued support of this story. Thank you for all your kind words, they mean the world.

P.S. On Saturday I will be going on holiday for a week, during this time I will be unable to update. Because of this, I will try to update this story before I leave so you have something to read.


	6. Lego

The Sixth Fault- Lego

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

Well, I know I have disappeared for forever and a day, but I am back now. Anyway, this fault was suggested by TheMoonPrincess110 and I defiantly know the feeling to.

* * *

Gifts had always been quite pointless in Damian's eyes, why not just give people the money so they can use it how they want instead of buying a load of tat, or better, get them nothing at all? Of course, Grayson did not see it like that and had insisted that Damian accompanied him to the end of summer gift give-out, although why that was a reason to buy someone a gift he would never know. The first people on the list were the Parkers, a family of the most stupid, contradicting people you could ever meet. Apparently father had done business with them some years ago, and now they _had_ to provide them with things that even their pets would not deserve. Damian could care less who the gifts were for as long as it was quick and they did not-

"Oh, we have to invite you in for tea." Do exactly that. Damian gave a warning look to Grayson, hoping he would get the message and make an excuse, but the edges of that all too familiar smile were beginning to force their way onto his face.

"We would love to."

"Lovely, but please check your shoes, we do not want a mess." And thus with the chipmunk-like voice, the contradictions began. Early this year Damian had been forced into going to a dinner at the home, where he had found children's tat covering the floor with animal hair accompanying it. Alfred had always held the ability to hover up hair before it had even hit the floor, but Damian supposed that showed a difference in the taste and therefore the choice of staff of these people.

"Oh! How frightfully big that dog is. No, it cannot come, that will scare the life out of the children." Black Canary needed to take lessons from this woman that left Damian's ears ringing for moments after she had spoken before allowing the words to sink in.

"Titus-"

"Can wait in the car." Grayson would pay for that when he least expected it. Damian snatched the lead out of the man's hand and dragged the dog off to the vehicle, muttering about the viciousness of those rats that they dared to call dogs.

"Next time he asks me to go anywhere with him I will instantly refuse." He told the dog, opening the car door to allow him to jump in. "I will return shortly when we can see to plotting our revenge."

Titus replied with a bark, muffled from the door that now separated them.

"Sweetheart!" Damian's muscles tensed as the voice once again left him wanting to vomit on the ground.

"Coming." He mumbled, turning on his heel to approach the home, making an effort to show his distaste towards Grayson as they entered.

"Just ignore the dogs." She told them, signalling for them to follow her down the corridor while the rats yapped at a similar frequency to their owner.

"Oh, in fact be sure to take your shoes off. Better safe than sorry."

"Grayson, you are aware I hate you."

"Very much so." Grayson told him, as he began to remove his shoes leaving his feat exposed to the likelihood of getting bit through the socks. "Come on, Damian. It's just for an hour." Damian gave a tut of disapproval, but still launched his shoes off his feet, hoping they managed to land on the rat's heads.

"Children, some see the kind gifts you've been brought!" How anyone could cope with hearing that voice everyday was beyond him, but the children seemed more than happy to hop down the stairs and join their mother.

"Presents!" One of the brats squealed, flinging themselves into the bag that Grayson had now placed by his side.

"Wonderful manners." Damian muttered sarcastically, just loud enough to make sure Grayson heard it.

"Damian, why don't you go down to the kitchen and make sure the staff get started on that tea." Grayson offered with a smile that looked like it belonged in 'it's a small world'.

"Thrilling suggestion." He mumbled, trotting off in the direction Grayson pointed to. The place was exactly how he remembered it, with toys turning the floor into a danger zone and more animal hairs than you would find in the zoo.

He started with a very careful approach, watching each placement of his foot to avoid setting off some flashing lights or 'happy' sounds, but soon gained more confidence in the knowledge that he being himself meant it would be impossible for something as simple as children's toys to cause him any harm.

But then it happened. Something pointed was right into his foot, pressing back with exactly the force he had put it causing him to pull his foot back and place it elsewhere, only for it to be met with the exact same pain. A stinging sensation from the impact went straight through his foot, causing him to bit his lip to prevent crying out. Some instrument of torture had damaged his foot, and he instantly went to finding out what.

Lying on the floor where his foot had been, a group of small coloured blocks with odd points sticking through them. What on Earth was that thing? Damian reached for them, grabbing a handful which he examined in his hand, whilst pushing his foot into the ground attempting to counter the pain with a lesser pain to focus on.

"Grayson!"

* * *

If ever he was being overpowered by a group of monstrous creatures, he would not call Grayson. It was fifteen minutes after he called before he heard any sound of his approaching at all.

"What has taken you so long? I need to know what this horrid creation is!" Damian twisted himself around and shoved his arm forward at the aim of putting it right before Grayson's face, but as with any horrid moment in his life, Drake had arrived.

"Why are you here?"

"Dick invited me."

"Liar."

"Whatever. Why have you got Lego anyway?"

"Lego, so that is what they call it." Damian brought the Lego back towards himself, looking over it once again. "And it is used to stop the progress of burglars?"

Drake sighed, snatching the so-called 'Lego' out of Damian's hand, and taking one piece and slotting it into place on top of another. "You build things with it."

"Well… of course I knew that!" Damian insisted, taking the Lego back and throwing it onto the floor. "I was simply testing you."

"Right, well Dick just wanted me to make sure that you knew I'm going to be staying for longer."

"I do not find your lies at all amusing, Drake; in fact I find it quite pitiful that you must feed off of Grayson's pity for you in pretending he actually cares when we both know he hates you around."

"Ok." Drake was smiling now, probably just on in an attempt to annoy him. "You stood on the Lego."

"What?"

"The way you're holding the foot, was you said about the burglars, you stood on the Lego."

"I did not!" Damian cried, however Drake was already in fits of laughter where he had allowed his body to drop onto the floor.

"That is- Ow!" Drake lifted his hand to grip in with the other, drawing Damian's attention to the floor where it had been, and where the Lego lay.

"Only a fool could hurt themselves with something meant for building Drake."

* * *

Before anyone asks how Damian knows about 'it's a small world', I am going to do a summer holiday chapter….in autumn. Well, I'm sure it will be summer somewhere in the world. Thanks for reading and if you can please leave a review to let me know what you thought.


	7. Drive-Through Meals

The Seventh Fault- Drive-Through Meals

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

On this is a pretty quick update, but I already had this written and decided there was no harm in uploading it. Anyway, this chapter takes us back in time to the family holiday which I mentioned in the last chapter. I would like to remind everyone I do still take suggestions, and will be doing RedHoodLover's suggestion as the next fault. Well, I think that is all you need to know, so here is the fault.

* * *

"You'll never get him into that car, you do know that." Tim handed the over-packed suitcase to a waiting Dick who then shoved it amongst the mound of other bags in the trunk of the car that seemed to contain enough items to satisfy the entirety of Gotham.

"He doesn't have to know where we are going. Anyway, he will completely love it once we are there." Dick encouraged, still seeming to find no faults in his plan.

"He refuses to stand in the same room as me, let alone get into a car with me."

"Damian just needs an opportunity to get use to you, which is exactly what he will get on holiday. Did I pack my toothbrush?"

"We are not unpacking to check." Tim warned, forcing the lid of the trunk down. "And in the meanwhile there is no way he is getting into that car."

"Just leave Damian to me; I'll meet you outside Oz's Chicken."

"Oz's Chicken?"

"It's a fast food place." Dick explained, giving the trunk one last look as if still not trusting whether it would stay closed.

"It's eleven in the morning." Tim reminded, although he was already walking away from the other man.

"I haven't had breakfast, plus when Damian isn't around I always sneak Titus some deep-fried chicken, he loves the stuff."

"What about bo- Never mind, I'll see you later." Tim finished, deciding against challenging the logic.

"Alright, and don't worry about anything, soon enough he will be dying to go."

* * *

"I am not going."

"Come on, Damian, you'll enjoy a meal out."

"Drake will be there."

"Oh, come on, you love him really."

"Grayson, I truly do understand that you pity that vermin, but it is time to let it go on its way. We should move on now."

Grayson shook his head, holding out his hand as if Damian would be childish enough to take it. Still, he did need to weigh up his options. It was obvious Grayson was hiding something; he always scratched his arm when he was lying, but what was worse, a horrid night with Drake or a week of food poisoning from Grayson's cooking?

"Fine, I will go. But we will quickly eat, then straight away leave, and if anyone makes any comments about Titus being in a restaurant then-"

"We'll leave, I know, I remember." Now he looked as if he had caught Drake's parasites, as he spread his scratching to his cheek. "Maybe you should bring Eyeless, just in case Titus wants him."

Damian mulled this thought over for a few moments, before finally turning to the hound. "Go get the remainders of your toy." He instructed, to which Titus simply barked and continued to contently watch his owner.

"I'll get it." Grayson quickly spat, before handing the car keys to Damian. "You two get in the car and I will meet you out there."

"He used to be a good liar when I first arrived." Damian commented to Titus, as he watched the man sprint up the stairs. "Although whatever he is hiding he will pay for."

Titus seemed to decide against replying to that, and instead galloped out of the house in the direction of the car. Unlike most dogs, Titus adored going into the car, usually falling asleep in it very easily to the gentle rocking off the car. Not when there are cobbles though. Defiantly not with cobbles.

Damian followed the eager animal at his own pace, which seemed to cause it some frustration as it started a range of mad barking, scratching the door of the car with his long claws. Pennyworth would not need to know about that.

"Alright, found it, let's go." Grayson was leaving the house now, Eyeless gripped between his hands. For some reason, he seemed less nervous now they were entering the car. Probably because he knew there was less opportunity to back out.

"Where are we going anyway?" Damian asked, following Titus into the car who had already stretched himself across the back seats, but lifted slightly to allow Damian a place to enter before slumping his head and front paws over his lap.

"Just some place."

"What place?"

"Some place." Grayson repeated, locking the doors as he started the car. "Right, whatever you do don't be angry. This is for your own good." He warned, tossing Eyeless into the back as if it was a peace offering.

"What have you done Grayson?" Damian questioned, his tone offering a warning to the man as they pulled out of the drive.

"Well…We're not going to a restaurant; we're going to a drive-through." Something about the change in Grayson's voice told Damian there was more, but that was not his main concern at the moment.

"What is a drive-through?" He asked, before earning a paw in his ribs as Titus twisted himself to reach for the stuffed animal that had fell into the footwell.

"Well you drive through a place and order food and then you can eat it in the car, without eating in a restaurant."

"Eat in the car?" Damian asked, wondering who on Earth would want to eat in here.

"Yeah, it'll be different."

"Where will I put my food?"

"On your lap." Grayson seemed pleased with himself at this point, but it was obviously something he had not thought through.

"What about Titus?"

"He can have a meal too."

"He will want to eat mine." Damian reminded, looking out of the window to see a blinding neon sign, even with the sunlight, reading 'Oz's'. "Anyway, eating without a table would be…wrong."

"You'll survive." Grayson deserved a punch for that comment, but he held back as the car pulled over, still without unlocking the doors.

"What now."

"Well, I told Tim to order for us, so-"

"Not only do you put me through this ghastly experience, but you invite Drake?" Damian interrupted, anger growing.

"You knew he was coming. Anyway, Titus loves deep-fried chicken."

"What?" Damian demanded, looking from Grayson to the dog. "You've been sneaking Titus food again!"

"Only every once in a while. He doesn't like the diet you've got him on, he never gets any treats."

"That's because when he eats treats he gets fat, and when he's fat he snores! I knew there was a reason he had been gaining-"

"Hey everyone, I've got the food." Damian hadn't noticed the door unlock, but Drake was now entering the car and seating himself in the front seat. Immediately his appalling stench came to Damian's nose, which was defiantly not helped by his hideous appearance. What had he done to have to deal with something like this?

"I am leaving and going home instantly." Damian told them, although the two men simply acted as dumb as they were and handed food into the back of the car, ignoring his statement.

"You will both pay for this in blood." He warned, but still no reply was given as the pair began to happily talk away which made Damian want to reach forward and break their necks. Titus, however, was betraying his master by tucking straight into the food, filling his giant mouth with the pieces of chicken and seeming to swallow them whole.

Deciding starving was not the best idea, Damian snatched one piece of chicken before the dog could eat it, becoming disgusted as fat and oil dripped down his fingers. Shutting his eyes to reduce the horror of the situation, Damian took a bite, chewing it around in his mouth for a moment only to spit it out at the greasy texture.

"That is vile." He commented, using the bottle of water he had been given with the meal to clean out his mouth.

"We'll get a pie after his." Dick promised through a mouthful of food that was worse than what you would be given in prison.

"That reminds me," Drake began, momentarily stopping from shovelling food in his horse-like mouth, "how did you manage to convince him to come on holiday with us for two weeks?"

"What?!"

* * *

I'm beginning to realise how much of a drama queen I'm turning Damian into. xD

Oh well, I hope you all liked it. For the next chapter, I will be doing RedHoodLover's request along with introducing something else to the story, as Damian discovers where they are going for their 'fun' family vacation.


	8. Todd and Other Embarressements

The Eighth Fault- Todd and Other Embarrassments

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

Here is RedHoodLover's suggestion. Now, they did not ask for Jason to be included, instead asking for a whoopee cushion, but I wanted to bring him in for the holiday anyway so why not combine the two? I hope this turned out how you wanted it Red.

* * *

When Grayson used the word 'surprise' in a sentence, people tended to disappear before the 'grand unveiling'. His idea of a surprise had always somehow not turned out the way he had expected it to be, and it still seemed to be beyond him to see why father would not allow him to give his close friends a donkey as a Christmas present and everyone else a taxidermy version.

"Maybe you should just tell us now; it will still have the same impact." Drake, as always, was being a coward about it, which Damian could not help but find slightly odd. Grayson's last surprise for Drake was taking him on a rollercoaster from which he had removed some of the track to be able to spell 'Happy Birthday' on the ground, which Damian thought was quite a good choice of present.

"It has to be a surprise. Anyway, the three of you will love it."

"There are two of us." Drake rudely remarked.

"Titus." Grayson reminded him, although Damian put this down as the first strike in his mind. By the third he would have more than enough reason to attack him.

"It took me a lot of trouble to get this, so you best be thankful." Grayson told them, leading them down another alleyway. He had made sure to drive at top speeds to a place that Damian would not recognise to decrease the chance of him being able to run off and track his way home, not that taxi drivers would actually know where Wayne Manor is, however Damian had decided to wait this through, he liked watching Drake's hideous face becoming covered in panic.

"But won't the surprise dig into holiday time?" Drake tried again, only to receive a shake of the head from Grayson.

"The holiday would not be the same without it."

"Great, then let us leave and not go on holiday."

"Come on, Damian, we'll have fun. Anyway, Titus wants to go." Grayson attempted, whilst pointing to the large hound which was trailing a good distance behind, as always very tired after a large meal.

"Titus wants to sleep."

"He can sleep on the way there, now hurry up." Damian would have strangled Grayson for that demand, but of course he had to wait for Titus to catch up instead who was trundling at speeds that could be taken over by a one-handed granny in a mobility scooter.

"It's in here." Grayson told them, excitement growing as he pointed to a tacky café which was probably often visited by Drake. "And it's not a pony." He added, before holding open the door for them to enter.

Drake entered first, and Damian ensured it was Grayson who first followed him. If it was something hazardous to life, he wanted to build up a slight shield. After the lack of an explosion or screams of pain, Damian followed in with Titus at his heel, looking around to see nothing of interest.

"There's nothing here." He told Grayson, slightly disappointed that Drake was not going to be seriously harmed or better.

"It's Jason!" Grayson spoke as if every one of Damian's wishes should have come true, as he signalled to the man sitting at the table to their side, which was easily overlooked. Similarly to Drake, Todd had never been anything special, just another nuisance that luckily he could avoid for a large portion of his time; that is until Grayson gets involved.

"Jason? We haven't seen you in ages." Drake sounded surprised. Not happy, but surprised. Looks like Grayson had succeeded at one thing.

"I called him up the other day and he said he would love to come."

"Really?" Both Damian and Drake spoke now, as Grayson spoke of the most un-Todd sounding thing possible. Thankfully for Damian, Todd had always been a little less parasitic, only visiting when he desperately had to.

"No." Finally Todd had spoken as he stood himself from the table, having to duck slightly to avoid the low hanging lights. "We had a deal." Grayson let out a nervous smile at this, moving himself further towards the door and signalling everyone to follow.

"He also really wanted to see his brothers."

"Grayson."

"Yes, Damian?"

"I would rather have a stuffed donkey."

* * *

Deciding the best day for travel was not today, Grayson had booked everyone into a local hotel that luckily held slightly more promise than the café.

"Right, so we are all on the same corridor, so if we need anyone we can just knock." He told them handing each of them a set of keys.

"Sure you don't want to share with me Damian?" Grayson questioned once again, also once again moving that bit closer to a broken neck.

"I'm sure Tim would, Dick." Todd teased, which Damian was more than happy to deal with as long as it was not directed towards him.

"I'll see you all for dinner." Was Grayson's only comment, ignored Todd as he began to walk off to his own room with Titus following before realising his true master was not going in the same direction, causing some confusion.

"Come here." Damian demanded, however the dog held its place halfway between the door and Damian, seeming to hope his master would follow him. "Come here!" He instructed again, only causing the dog to pull back its ears and offer a bark in return.

"Need help?" Todd's voice dragged Damian's attention off the dog and over to the man who was leaning against the door to Damian's room with a Cheshire Cat grin on his face. "You dropped your keys as well, by the way." He added, holding out the silver object.

"I do not need help!" Damian snapped, snatching the keys out of Todd's hand. "The hound can sleep out here if it doesn't want to go in the room." He told him, marching into said room and slamming the door behind him, although part of his still knew he would have to go back out for the dog shortly.

In the meanwhile, deciding a book would keep him busy until the dog came knocking on his door, and hopefully take his mind off the horrid experience that Grayson had put him through, Damian walked over to the bookshelf in the corner of the room, only to find it filled with self-help books and one for how to cook the perfect stew.

"This is hell." He mumbled, allowing himself to flop into the bed behind him only to hear the release of a desperately loud noise. The shock caused him to straight away to rise to his feet, trying to figure out what that sound was. It sounded like… but it couldn't be. Daman pulled back the sheets to look into the bed to find an odd red oval shaped… thing. He picked the thing up, spinning it into his hand before finally pressing into it to hear the sound once again, followed by a familiar muffled laughter through the wall.

"Todd!"

* * *

I'm getting pretty proud of myself for still being able to give Damian some excuses not to kill people. Anyway, I hope everyone liked it, especially Red. Please leave a review if you have the time and thanks for reading.


	9. Escalators

The Ninth Fault- Escalators

Disclaimer- I do not own any DC characters, I merely wrote this story.

I'm afraid for health reasons I have been taking a break from writing, but I have managed to complete this chapter and hopefully will be posting chapters to my other stories soon enough. This is just a warning that I may not be able to update as often as I would like, sorry.

* * *

"Ok, so the first part of our journey is by train, since Titus doesn't like flying…" That was one of the most unfair things about owning the stupid hound- you seemed to have to inherit the blame for all its behaviours. Right now, several dirty looks were being sent in Damian's direction, which the fools would most certainly pay for, as Grayson took them through the plan giving every single detail for every single step like he had become Alfred overnight.

"Sorry to interrupt you Dick, but is it really one hundred per cent necessary to bring the dog? I mean, maybe some time without it will do Damian some good." That was Drake's strike two.

"Is it one hundred per cent necessary to bring Drake, maybe some time without it will do us some good too." Damian shot back, along with a deep glare.

"Are these two always like this?" He overheard Todd ask, as Grayson pulled open the door and stood aside to allow everyone to walk past him and into the building that appeared to be the train station.

"Only in public, bones usually get broken at home.

"And they are always Drake's." Damian added, pushing past Todd to insure that he and Titus were now ahead.

"Sure this was a good idea?"

"Positive." Grayson answered Todd once again, as he closed the door behind him once Drake had followed through, at snail's pace as usual, before signalling to the right of them with his arm.

"That way to the escalators that will take us straight to the train."

"Escalators?" It was something Damian had heard of many times before but had never paid much attention to, since he had long decided it was something he was not going to come across. What was the point on moving stairs when you have legs and elevators? It was a pointless invention that he wanted nothing to do with.

"I was beginning to forget hermit boy for a couple of peaceful seconds, still keeping him locked up for the sake of humanity?"

"Don't be mean, Jason, there aren't many escalators where we go." Grayson corrected, although Todd was now matching Drake on his second strike.

"Whatever, you've been avoiding them." Todd shot back, leaving Damian curious; what was so bad about this invention that Grayson would avoid them? Surely they could not be dangerous…

"I can go on them, as long as someone is in front of me and if it is entirely necessary." Grayson muttered, seeming to slow his pace.

"What's wrong with them?" Damian finally asked, having to side-step as Titus pushed himself further into his legs as the amount of people surrounding them increased, making the animal slightly nervous.

"Nothing, they're just… unnatural. I mean, you have no control of your movement and-"

"In other words Dick is petrified of 'em." Todd corrected, a grin forming on his face as he obviously began to enjoy Grayson's squirming.

"Ridiculous." Damian snapped, now managing to once again worm his way to the front by grapping Titus' collar and forcing him through the crowd, leaving the painfully embarrassing trio behind him.

The people were starting to form a single line now, all pushing together before seeming to disappear as at the front heads seemed to become smaller before completely fading beneath the crowd. It had to be the escalator, the thing Grayson foolish feared despite facing things some people could only dream of, he was such a child. How could it be so bad? It was just some moving stairs.

Damian was getting closer to the front of the line now, as he pulled himself to the side to be able to view these escalators. Blocks of metal clumped together in a line quickly separated into stair-like shapes which quickly shot down with people on top of them, not waiting for both feet to get comfortably on the step. Even the bar you hold on to seemed to be moving, which left the question of how anyone could stay on one of those things. They were horrible, stupid things that he would never step on, not that he was scared, of course he was not scared, no, he just did not like them, that was exactly it.

A pair of hands fell of Damian's shoulders and pulled him to the side and out of his thoughts as Grayson twisted him around to face the other way.

"The sign says no dogs, what a shame, want to take the stairs?" Grayson did not wait for a reply, as he grabbed Titus' collar and Tim's sleeve to herd everyone towards the stairs.

"Child." Damian complained once again, trying to hide the fact he was more than happy to escape from that horrid machine.

* * *

Ten seconds, a broken collar bone and socket-less wrist later, Grayson had successfully beaten the escalator in dragging Drake and Titus down the stairs, leaving the dog struggling to breath and the 'it' overreacting once again as he held onto his wrist as if someone had just attempted to saw his hand off.

"See, who needs escalators? We won't even be slightly late." Grayson questioned through deep breaths, whilst Damian slowly and calmly followed the path they had taken down the steep, incredibly long staircase.

"No one, when you've got a lift." Todd exited the large metal box he had been stood in, finally allowing it to shut its doors behind him.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that."

* * *

I'm actually surprised I've gotten to nine, I was expecting to run out at five. Then again I was expecting to get at the most one review for each chapter, so I suppose I have to thank all the readers for that, so thank you. Thanks for reading, be sure to wipe your feet on the way out (we don't want dirty roads) and if you can, leave a review.


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